There is this anxious feeling that I have become accustomed to nowadays. This terror incessantly pokes at my insides whenever I consider my future. I'm not alone in this, of course. Most young people in my collegiate position most likely will feel this at some point or another, whether or not they are majoring in the most desirable course that they know statistically
will bring them success after graduation.
I have chosen the life of a writer. A creative writer. In this day and age that profession seems a little... well... unprofitable in the aspect of economics. But I have been blessed with talents that really leave me no other choice than to pursue a career in some artistic form, whether that be music, writing or art itself. (That, is, unless I choose do go down some path doing something that doesn't come easily to me and that I don't necessarily enjoy. No, I refuse to choose something that I know will not bring me some sort of happiness even if that means possible financial struggles. Misery shall not haunt me.). With all this in mind I then have to consider: Why would God give me these talents if he did not want me to use them and use them for his glory? Worry strikes, though. Creative writing is hardly a lucrative profession. Singing? I mean, think about the industry. The media would eat you alive alone, not to mention the pressure. Art? Well, you're not that good. I mean maybe you could get better if you worked at it but even then, there's competition and you'd have to really stand out. But even if you did any of these things, the only people making the real money are the ones who have really made it and that's next to impossible. Come on! Get your head on straight! Don't be dumb! All this screaming in my ear, negative thoughts racing around my head, eating away at any hopes I once had... And then the voices quiet themselves and the noise fades away. "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you," (Matthew 6:33). Oh, me of little faith, how much more will my heavenly Father provide for me than for the birds of the air? So I cannot be anxious if I know I am in hot pursuit of the kingdom and the righteousness of the Lord.
No man knows the plans of the Lord before He wills it. So, what are we to do then, if we don't know what he wants us to do with our life? Well, first and foremost, seek after the kingdom of the Lord and his righteousness, as was said before. So, while thinking of a career path and a future for myself, I have to wonder, "What can I do for the kingdom of the Lord and how can I pursue righteousness? How can I bring glory to the Lord in all that I do?"
He has given me the tools, now I have to use them. I recognized at a young age how much I enjoyed writing and drawing and singing. Back then, I had selfish desires, I will admit, to use those talents to bring recognition and wealth to myself. I don't really feel that way anymore especially knowing that the Lord will give me exactly what I need and I don't have to worry if I am following him closely. He promises joy to those who draw near to him because he is joy. And who doesn't like to be joyful?
Considering all of these things, I have come to some conclusions about who I am and what my future may hold. One, I was born a writer, an artist and a vocal musician, whether or not I'm really brilliant in any of those fields. But, I do sometimes have to think of practicality, and with writing, well... I can use that anywhere. And my imagination is pretty colorful, if I do say so myself. That's also a blessing... most of the time. I know I have the basics down to be successful, but I have to keep working hard at it; I want to be the best that I know I can be.
Next year I am going to Biola University in La Mirada, CA which is not far from where I live now. I chose that school because I not only can major in English with an emphasis on Creative Writing, but I also am able to study theology because, well, it is the Bible Institute of Los Angeles and we are required to have a minor in Bible upon graduation. Of course, private schools tend to be expensive, so I have been completing my GE credits here at my local community college, which has been pretty great as far as community college life goes! I hope to get my degree in, at most, two years (but maybe two and a half.... Hey, it's a lot to do in two years, k?) So after about two years, I'm done, right?
No. Na uh. Not done. Nope.
I have been working at the St. Regis here in my hometown for a little over a month now. The wonderful thing about the Starwood Company (which is the overseer of St. Regis and many other luxury hotels) is that they are all about giving their employees opportunities to grow, learn and reach their potential... and they also have St. Regis' all over the globe.
If you had read some of my earlier posts, you would know that I went to Oxford, England last semester to study abroad. I really loved it. Like, it's almost an understatement saying that I simply loved it. It was life changing. And, oh hey, look at that! There's a St. Regis in London. Right next to Buckingham Palace. Okay. Stahp. This St. Regis is called The Lanesborough and what I am hoping to do is transfer over there. Knowing how expensive the UK can be to live in for a little ole American gal such as myself I think I might just take a year off and work full time exclusively where I'm at now to save up money. Once I have enough... well, Lanesborough here I come! Look out London! But, wait wait. What about all that hard work you did getting your bachelors? You're just going to go work hospitality now?
Again, No. Na uh. Not done. Nope.
While I was studying at Oxford and learning about the school and its history I was compelled to dream a dream and that dream was to get my graduate's degree from Oxford University. Now, I'm not saying that that dream is impossible, just not very plausible. I haven't the money to go to a school of that caliber, really, and living in the UK alone is crazy expensive. Okay, so maybe not Oxford Uni, but what about something actually in London, hmm?
About a week ago, I was having that anxious heart again, thinking about what I was to do after I graduated. And as all of this was swimming through my head, I had to break out ye old smartphone and search for graduate schools in London that offered MA's in Writing or Creative Writing or something along those lines. As I gleaned over some sites that gave pretty good analyses of the university programs offered I finally found one that really caught my eye.
If you know anything about universities in the UK, they tend to have an overarching university (such as Oxford University) and then have colleges that make up the university itself. For example, while I was at Oxford, we used the facilities of two different colleges, Lincoln and St. Hilda's, which were both part of Oxford University. Okay okay, so the point is, The University of London has a ton of different colleges with in it spread about the entirety of London. Only one I found has exactly what I was looking for and it's called Royal Holloway. And I figuratively DIED because... Well, look for yourself, first of all.
Founder's Building, Royal Holloway University of London
(photo taken from Google Images -- Sorry it's a little pixely :/ )
Ya, k, Hogwarts much? Anyways, this is the main campus. Now at Royal Holloway they have a MA for creative writing and different tracks to go on, such as Fiction, Poetry, Life Writing, etc. I personally would choose the Fiction track cause I wanna write books n' stuff. Contrary to what you may think, the load I would be taking on education wise is pretty minimal; classes are only held once or twice a week (Come at me Lanesborough. I shall work you to the fullest!) They are also held in Central London, whereas the above main campus is on the outskirts of the city in a little place called Surrey. (Shoutout to "The Holiday" with Kate Winslet. I wanna be you in that movie, Kate. Let me be you.) I would be there for two years, by choice (it's less expensive that way), and hopefully be working a salaried job rather than having a bi-weekly paycheck. I repeat, it takes crazy money to live in London, especially in the districts where both my school and work are located. Which brings me to my next point - Between The Lanesborough and my MA courses is only a few miles; They are literally ten minutes apart by public transit. If I can find myself a place smack dab in the middle of the two, it's five minutes to work and five minutes to school and I'm chillin. I'd have to get used to the Metro life, but that's the least of the changes I would be experiencing.
Alright, so that leaves me here: Two years in London and coming out with a MA in Creative Writing and a lot life lived. Now what?
Well I don't think I'm finished yet. What's also cool about Royal Holloway is that they offer a Creative Writing and Practice-based PhD. PhD. Yes, PhD. And it only takes one year. Imagine me coming out with a PhD in my field! Look out job market, I will write ALL OVER YOU with my new title. And from this there are many routes I could take and we'll see what happens. But what I do know is that I eventually want to get some teaching credentials and possibly be a professor at some swanky private school in Santa Barbara which I always wanted to go to but could never afford.... *cough*cough* And this PhD has me basically writing a book the whole time and in the end I turn in the finished work. Well there's one down! (And if you don't already know, I have been so inspired by C.S. Lewis' work with his Narnia books that I want to do just the same with mine. But instead of children's books I want to write them for young adults. That will be my work for the kingdom, among other things of course.)
So that leaves me three years at school in London with a book published and a lot of other stories to tell along side it. Hey, a girl can dream can't she? That's as far as my eyes can see, but God's plan could be completely different. I'm just taking what he's thrown at me and rolled with it and I am forever thankful.
Do Not Be Anxious - Matthew 6:25-34
Jesus
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"
